giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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