piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
