Screwed.edu
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
