Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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