let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
