think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
