Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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