I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
