if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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