tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
