she was so not down for the gang bang
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
