his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
