i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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