so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
