We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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