I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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