NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
