You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
