So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
