Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
