Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
