"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
