I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
