it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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