he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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