My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't deserve a penis
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
