Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
