I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
