Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
