If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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