I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
