Nicole vs. Life
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
