In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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