They should really pass out barf bags in church
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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