We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
high people should be assigned attendants
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
