I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
