I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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