I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
