i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
