I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
