Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
