don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
