i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
