Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
