weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
