So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize