NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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