I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
