It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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