u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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