You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
