Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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