I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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