Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
two words...techno handjob
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
