i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
