i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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