I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
