Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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