If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
