There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
