have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize