bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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